July 6, 2008
It has been a rough week for some reason. Tom has been out of town a lot with Lacrosse and that has been hard. He is definitely my main support system and I felt lost without him. I usually welcome a little time at home by myself, but it was different because of what has been going on. We met with the Oncologist a couple of weeks ago. I was not aware that I would have to be on birth control while I take the Tamoxifen for the next 5 years. That brings me to 41 years old. A bit out of the baby making years. While I was coming to terms with possibly not having children, I think that I have always hung on to the hope that I am currently still young enough with a few good years left in me. It was quite a hit to be told that my chances of having children are extremely slim. It has always been on my terms and I do not do well being told that it is not going to happen. I no longer feel lucky. This really stinks!
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