Here I Go!

Starting something is never easy for me. I am a procrastinator. Is it the denial? Is it because someone might read it and think it is stupid? Is it because all of my thoughts and emotions are so jumbled up that I can not even imagine having them make sense? I am pretty sure it is a little of everything. I never expected the blogging to continue. I didn't think my life would continue to be worth sharing. I was looking forward to my life calming down when my cancer treatments were over and feeling as though my life was too boring to write about. How great would that be? :-) My mom was recently diagnosed with a fairly rare disease called Frontotemporal Dementia. She is only 60 years old and I can't believe this is our life. So, starting to write about it isn't easy. I wish I were a better communicator. I wish I could write something that was inspiring and that someone who is going through a similar situation could read and I could have an impact. I want someone to google Frontotemporal Dementia and come across my blog and be so grateful they found it because someone else out there knows what they are going through and can help. I want to talk about the disease and talk about my mom and how awesome she is and how lucky I have been to be her daughter. Even though it is so hard right now to remember who she once was, I want to go through the memories and never forget how blessed I am even when things don't seem to be going the way I would like. I am rambling. I think that is best. It gives a good depiction of what plays in my mind all the time. The craziness, the hurt, the fear, the memories, the dread, the frustration, the desire for my life to be boring, even if just for a moment.