Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Here I Go!
Starting something is never easy for me. I am a procrastinator. Is it the denial? Is it because someone might read it and think it is stupid? Is it because all of my thoughts and emotions are so jumbled up that I can not even imagine having them make sense? I am pretty sure it is a little of everything. I never expected the blogging to continue. I didn't think my life would continue to be worth sharing. I was looking forward to my life calming down when my cancer treatments were over and feeling as though my life was too boring to write about. How great would that be? :-) My mom was recently diagnosed with a fairly rare disease called Frontotemporal Dementia. She is only 60 years old and I can't believe this is our life. So, starting to write about it isn't easy. I wish I were a better communicator. I wish I could write something that was inspiring and that someone who is going through a similar situation could read and I could have an impact. I want someone to google Frontotemporal Dementia and come across my blog and be so grateful they found it because someone else out there knows what they are going through and can help. I want to talk about the disease and talk about my mom and how awesome she is and how lucky I have been to be her daughter. Even though it is so hard right now to remember who she once was, I want to go through the memories and never forget how blessed I am even when things don't seem to be going the way I would like. I am rambling. I think that is best. It gives a good depiction of what plays in my mind all the time. The craziness, the hurt, the fear, the memories, the dread, the frustration, the desire for my life to be boring, even if just for a moment.
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3 comments:
Hi Kim! I am so sorry about your mother's diagnosis. I encourage you to continue to blog. You never know who you will touch with your message. Your posts may not seem to exciting or profound to you but they are full of life and the reality of the twists and turns of life. There is a very good chance that blogging about your mother's illness will eventually end up in networking with other people who share her disease. I have done this with my rare cancer and it is amazing to be able to share/recieve information with others who are walking a similar road.
Thanks, Kim, for your kind words on my blog. I immediately felt horrible, however, that you were going to be reading all the horrible thoughts that came through my head during some of the parts of her illness. She is currently doing a lot better, in the big scheme of things, I mean. :) I started reading your blog as well, and I see quickly that you have been through alot yourself...surviving, living through cancer! What a huge part of your life, and you seem to be so inspirational. I know that things happen for a reason, and I feel that Mom's illness has really changed me for the better. Hope we can help each other through it. My Mom was 60 when she was diagnosed (or 59) and it was January 2006.
Hi Kim. I found you through DeeDee's blog. My mom was diagnosed in December of last year, though we imagine we are about 4 years into her disease. I'm sorry that you are joining us all in this fight.
I write a lot of drivel on my blog. Silly stuff. Angry stuff. Just stuff about my life and how inevitably - my mom's disease now impacts it all. I'm glad that you're writing. While we're sad to see it, it does help us all to see there is another one of us out there, who is going through what we are. If you ever get the chance, please feel to drop by. The posts particularly relevant to our collective situation have a label of "Living with FTD."
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