Tamoxifen

Why is this Tamoxifen thing putting me over the edge? It’s a pill!!! I felt like I needed someone with me for the first time. Kind of the way I needed Tom with me before surgery and the way I needed him my first day of radiation. Taking that first pill tonight was worse than the surgery or the radiation. Why? It has so many more implications than the other treatment. So much more to it! I am overwhelmed. I want to move on from this stage of life. This pill won’t let me. 5 years of my life. A reminder every night before I go to bed. I don’t mind the reminder, I don’t ever want to forget. If only it were just a reminder and nothing else. I can’t put into words anything else about the stupid pill.