ELMHURST???

I am just hoping that I can tell this story and make it half as funny as what it was in real life. I recently bought a sign for my front porch that says, “Come sit on my porch”. Total redneck per my sister, but adorable per me. I saw it on a $2 Million dollar home in Hinsdale and I just had to have it. Perfect for a mansion in Hinsdale, maybe not so much for my cape cod in Elmhurst. Who though, is going to actually read it and listen? Well, let me tell you… My out of control drunk alcoholic redneck neighbor. That is who! The first time wasn’t so bad as I was pulling into my driveway with my husband. Tom took the brunt of the visit even though “It’s your sign!” was his only response to how we were going to handle the situation. I slipped out to the back yard to join the neighbor kids in dance practice to Hannah Montana tunes blaring. The second episode? When I wake up yesterday morning, I come down in my kitchen to see the back of his head with his long hair peeping through my front window. Can you say heart attack? Tom was out of town and when I get him on the phone, my heart is pounding so loud that I would think he could hear it through the phone, however; he is laughing so hard that I tell him I have to go to call my neighbor Brian to see if he can come over and save me. He does, but the scary man is no longer there and Brian turns around and adds that I need to take down my sign. The sign is not coming down because a.) it is super cute and b.) I can’t take it down now and risk the chance of offending the dangerous alcoholic neighbor. Now that is a dilemma! Funny, right?